Father's Day
by Mereo Flere
Summary: [The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya] Kyon never expected fatherhood to be easy. Then again, he didn't expect to deal with it so soon. However, as he'll soon find out, he has bigger problems than dirty diapers, like finding out who the mother is.
1. Special Delivery!

"Father's Day" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

---

It began as ordinarily as any other day. I woke up, got dressed, and had some breakfast before beginning my trek to North High School. All in all, it was what I had come to expect, even despite all of the trouble I found myself in because of the SOS Brigade.

The moment I stepped foot out of the house, however, I knew something was wrong. For, you see, standing just outside of my door was none other than Asahina Mikuru.

The big one.

Were it not for Mikuru's ever charmful smile warming my heart, I would have groaned right then and there.

"Kyon-kun. It's nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you too," I said. And, for a moment, I hoped it would be. Unfortunately for me, I already knew that behind the flash of pearly whites was trouble.

Lots of it.

I looked behind me, worried for a moment that my sister would come running out at any time. I sighed in relief when I remembered that today her school had a holiday. I had no idea how I would explain the super-sized Mikuru right outside of our door.

Not that I ever knew. I probably never would.

Turning back to the time traveler, who still remained smiling, I looked at her suspiciously, unsure what to do. As always, though, she initiated the conversation for us.

"Don't worry. Nobody will interrupt us."

If it's you saying it, then I won't worry.

"Let's start walking. I don't want you to be late after all."

Any other day, I would have enjoyed walking to school with Mikuru, but I had always imagined it would be with Mikuru (small), not the big one by my side. While nobody came close enough to overhear anything we said, I still felt a little nervous around her.

Whenever she appeared, it signaled the beginning of an event. Something would happen and I would find myself burdened with a task that she would only hint at in our encounter. While I might eventually discover the significance of my actions, that would not help me now.

"So, why did you come?"

"What, can't I just drop in to say hello?"

That smile won't work on me, Asahina-san.

"After all of the red tape I keep hearing about, I don't think you could simply get past all of that now, without some sort of reason."

"You're right. It isn't that easy."

Somehow, I wasn't too happy with my correct answer. And, if the expression on her face was any indication, neither was she.

That couldn't change how things were though. Neither of us were Haruhi, after all.

"Let me guess. It has something to do with the briefcase right there, doesn't it?"

I pointed to said briefcase, carried in front of Asahina-san. It was large and undecorated, but I could tell that from the way she held carefully in both hands that there was something important in it.

"Bingo. Right again, Kyon-kun. For getting the answer right, you get a prize. Unfortunately, this is the only one I can give to you."

She offered the bag to me and, with a little hesitation, I took it. Surprisingly, it was lighter than I had expected it to be, but I still had no idea what it was.

"So, I guess I just open it up and see what's inside for myself."

Another nod. "You're on a roll today."

Great.

Sighing, I stopped and set my own bag in the ground. Taking a deep breath, I lifted the briefcase before me, holding it at arms length. Unsure what to expect, I opened it slightly, just enough to peek inside.

I gasped, and immediately slammed it shut.

For a moment, I prayed that I had seen wrong, that my eyes were playing tricks on me. When I looked inside again though, I was forced with the grim reality of the contents.

Diapers. A bottle. Baby wipes. A blanket.

Just why in the world would I need something like that?!

"Well, you see...a baby is coming."

You don't look pregnant.

She looked away for a moment, trying to hide a momentary blush. I wasn't sure how to read it.

"I'm not. The truth is that it's yours. You're going to be a father Kyon-kun."

You're kidding me, right? Just how is that-

"Classified information. I'm sorry, Kyon-kun, but I can't tell you anything more."

I sighed again. I knew that no matter how hard I tried, it would be impossible to learn anything more from her.

This is so frustrating. I'm going to be a father? Impossible.

"Don't worry. You'll understand soon enough."

That's what I'm afraid of.

So...I was apparently going to be a father very soon. While I wasn't sure how, the fact that this Mikuru was the one who said it meant that it was going to be true.

She had no reason to lie. That she came in the first place meant that this was yet another predetermined event. I couldn't escape, even if I wanted to, and boy did I want to.

I had always believed that I would eventually have children. It wasn't unusual for a person, after finding a significant other, to eventually end up with a child. Whether or not it would be planned by the two, that was just the natural progression of things, barring any surgery or drugs.

Still, this was just too soon. I haven't even done anything with anyone - at least, I didn't think I had.

I haven't, have I?

"To my recollection, you have not slept with anyone in this world or in another, yet."

That's a relief.

Wait, another world? Yet? Is something going to happen soon?

No answer. It seemed that as I lingered in my thoughts, that Mikuru had gotten away. Then again, I could already imagine what she would have said.

"That's classified information, Kyon-kun."

Ugh.

Women are so confusing. Even more so when they're time travelers.

---

I still had some time before first period, so I ditched the briefcase in the Literature Club room. I couldn't just bring it with me to class, and at least in there it would be safe from any hands curious enough to open it - that is, until Haruhi came, and that wouldn't be until after school, when the rest of the club met.

Just to be careful, though, I tucked it away behind the bookcase, hoping that nobody was bored enough to look back there.

Sure that it was hidden safely away, I glanced at the clock.

Three minutes. Enough time to make it, even if I walked. That was assuming nothing got in my way, of course.

Nothing did.

Then again, that probably was to just make me let my guard down.

---

It was an average first period. Okabe-sensei droned on and on like he normally did, and while I tried to pay attention, I just couldn't focus. There were too many things on my mind, all of them having to deal with my child.

Was it a boy? Was it a girl? Would I have to come up with a name? These kind of questions were all on my mind. The biggest one, though, worried me most of all.

I sighed as the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the break. It was then that I foolishly decided to turn around, and ask that same question to Haruhi.

"What would you do if you suddenly had a baby?"

Haruhi looked at me like I was crazy. Then again, I probably was. "Why are you asking me that? Don't tell me..."

"No," I said hurriedly, before she could come up with some strange idea. "I'm just curious, that's all."

Eyeing me suspiciously for a moment, she finally shrugged and turned away. "I don't know what I would do. It's not really a problem I want to deal with."

So, that's it. You don't want a baby. But if that's the case, then why would you have one appear?

It was so troublesome, trying to figure her out. Giving up for the moment, I sighed and and tried to forget about it.

I'm not sure what drew my attention to the window then.

Perhaps it is just something that people naturally do when they have a lot to think about. Perhaps I had finally learned how to subconsciously sense all the trouble Haruhi caused (though, most of the time, one would need to simply be awake to see her chaos). Regardless of the reason though, I turned my head and saw something more ridiculous than anything else I had seen before.

Mikuru had told me that a baby was expected for me soon, and it didn't take long for me to figure out that only one mother could give such a troublesome birth: Haruhi. At the time, I wondered how that was even possible, since we had not done anything worth remembering and she did not even look the slightest bit pregnant.

And now, I knew why.

I could see it, even from this distance. A white stork flying towards the classroom, with a grey bundle carried from its beak.

It would not take a genius to figure out what it was, which was fortunate because my grades were only above average at best.

"Oh God."

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

Yes, yes I did.

Naturally, Haruhi answered from behind me. "What is it, Kyon? Do you see something outside?"

Yes.

The end of the world. Again.

No. Not again.

There had to be something that I could do.

Knowing my luck with these kind of things, chances were that the stork was heading to me. If I stayed here, no doubt that it would come to me and create all sorts of misunderstandings.

"Hey, Kyon, where are you going?"

"The bathroom!" I said, practically running for the door.

That was a lie. I had to leave, but not for that reason. I had to go to some place where nobody would be at this time.

The club room wasn't an option. Neither were any of the classrooms; even if they were empty, they were too close to ones that were occupied. That only left me one choice.

The roof.

Trying my best not to look suspicious, I made my way through the halls. When I reached the stairs, I made a break for it, dashing up them as fast as I could. Bursting through the door, I ran to the center of the rooftop and looked around.

Within moments, the crane reached me. Even as I was catching my breath, I held my arms out, accepting the bundle with care. Sure enough, within them was a child.

If I wasn't panicking, I'm sure I would have been filled with awe. As the situation was though, I was too busy making sure that I wouldn't drop her.

How I knew it was a her, I don't know. But then again, it doesn't matter. The question from before repeated itself to me.

What am I going to do?

I don't know. But I had to calm down. First of all, I needed to make sure that nobody found out about her.

Nodding to myself, I turned around. Whatever composure I had regained I immediately lost. Standing before me was a face I hadn't expected to see again.

Long, well kept hair. Eyebrows that had been the fascination of many a young man's heart. A heart warming smile that hid the cold killer within. All of these belonged to one person: Asakura Ryouko.

My heart nearly gave out. A man can only handle so many surprises in a day, after all.

"What are you doing here?!"

She simply continued to smile, stepping forward as she spoke in a low voice. "Shh..."

Don't "shh" me!

"She's sleeping," she continued, taking another step forward. "You don't want to wake her up, do you?"

I held my baby tighter, turning her away from the former class representative.

Again, in a lower voice, I asked her, "What are you doing here?"

She stopped her advance, her smile growing wider. I knew that, without a doubt, that bad news was coming.

"I'm here to babysit for you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you correctly. I thought you just said you're here to babysit."

"Do not worry. There is nothing wrong with your auditory senses. You heard correctly."

Ah. So she really expects me to believe that story. She sounds sincere - but then again, she always had. Whether it was a pawn of her own programming or something she had developed herself, she had been able to trick everybody in our class that she was nothing more than a caring class representative.

The truth is, it's harder to read her than Koizumi. Compared to her, his smile is but a pale imitation, and even he has been known to falter in his mask.

Still, like Koizumi, I remembered she enjoyed talking. Whether it was talking to classmates, trying to talk to Haruhi, or even explaining to me why I was going to die, Asakura Ryoko was always one to speak up.

"What could you possibly gain from doing that anyway? No, wait, how are you even here? I thought that Nagato had killed you."

"Though my original body was erased, my program was kept intact. It was simply disconnected when Nagato-san deleted the physical interface. Because of my reckless actions, it was decided that I would be detained.

"However, with this recent development," Ryoko said, pointing to the girl bundled up in my arms, "It was decided that I would be reinstated in my duty as a living humanoid interface, to ensure that a such a rare sample comes to no harm."

I sighed. Honestly, I was more worried about her harming my kid more than anything else - and the way she called her a sample didn't exactly help.

"So, you're here to abduct my kid."

"Not at all, Kyon-kun. I was merely ordered to aid you by any means necessary. Just think of me as your servant."

I wasn't ready to trust her about that yet. At the very least, I would get confirmation from Nagato.

Speaking of Nagato...

"And just why would they send you again? Why not anybody else?"

"Taking care of a baby is a full time job, and all of the active agents have their own duties to fulfill. Instead of sending someone you didn't already know, the Integrated Thought Entity believed it would be best to send 'a friendly face' to put you at ease."

Had I not had my hands full would have buried my face behind my palm.

"I think your boss should consult a dictionary. No offense, but you're not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the word 'friendly.'"

"None taken."

This situation was getting more complicated by the minute. At least someone hadn't -

"My, who is this lovely lady, Kyon-kun?"

- walked in on us.

Somehow, I knew that was going to happen.


	2. Property of Nagato Yuki

"Father's Day" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

---

I didn't need to turn around to know who the voice belonged to. However, the fact that that person had managed to get behind me was more mysterious than his identity.

Never mind the fact that he and my former classmate had already exchanged introductions during my inner monologue.

Though I have kept my eyes on Asakura this entire time, there was no way I wouldn't have noticed someone getting onto the roof after us. Even if I didn't look past her, back to where the entrance was, the sound of the door opening would have been enough to tell me someone else had arrived.

Or it should have been.

"Tell me, is teleportation one of your powers now, Koizumi?"

"Not quite," he said. I could practically hear his smile. "Something such as that is beyond my capabilities. However, if you look around, you should figure it out on your own."

Taking his advice, I took a quick glance to my side and immediately understood what he meant.

Where there should have been an open view of sky stretching out over the city was a blank wall. On the other sides as well and above us were similar sights - sealing us completely inside. It was a prison, just like the one she had made before. However, just because the setting was familiar didn't mean that it was comforting at all.

"So, you did this?"

"Of course, Kyon-kun. You don't believe that you were the only one to spot the crane's approach, did you?"

Actually, I had been hoping that was the case.

"This is a protective measure, both for yourself and your offspring. To keep you from being discovered with a child, and to keep that child from being discovered at all, it was important to move you two for a safer location.

"Don't worry, you're in no danger here."

I wish I could believe you. Having been nearly killed by you a couple of time, though, makes it a little hard to trust you.

Koizumi coughed.

"It is not without some measure of truth. Whether it was by fate or sheer coincidence, several other students noticed spotted its approach, myself included. Even Suzumiya-san herself noticed it after you left, and thought you were acting strange, and bumped into me as she headed for the rooftop. Needless to say, she dragged me along."

"You don't sound too bothered by it."

"I'm not. I was curious to see what was happening there too, especially since I could sense the creation of a sealed reality - or something like it. I wasn't very worried about the possibility of Suzumiya-san finding something she shouldn't, as it was something that most people could just stumble upon by accident. And now that I know the cause, I am in agreement with her course of action."

That's nice. Except, not really.

"So, we're just supposed to wait here until everybody in the real world leaves the rooftop?"

"Is there any problem with that?"

"If you ignore the fact that you'd be leaving me with an alien that tried to kill me, then there's no problem at all."

"Is this true?" Koizumi asked, glancing over to her.

"Yes. There was a time where I tried to terminate his life. I assure you, though, that it was simply to initiate a reaction from Suzumiya Haruhi. There was no personal enmity for Kyon-kun."

"Is that so? Well then, I suppose I don't see any problem with this at all."

"Are you telling me to -trust- her? After she tried to murder me?"

"Of course not. However, since Nagato has not rushed in here yet, we can assume that the probability that she will show hostility to you is nonexistent. She isn't the type to leave you alone if there was a possibility of danger."

He had a point. On that after school evening, Nagato had come to my aid, stopping Ryoko from killing me at the last moment. However-

"What if she hasn't noticed it yet?"

"You shouldn't be worried. If I could detect this place, then so could she. Her awareness is higher than mine - or any other human's, esper or not."

That was right. Even assuming it would take time, we had been talking for quite a bit. We were probably safe.

"For now, let's wait until the confusion has died down. Besides, I haven't heard the whole story yet."

"About how she tried to kill me?"

"No. I mean the baby. Though, I would like to hear the details of that particular tale later."

---

So, I told Koizumi about the events today, after which he put his hand to his cheek and smiled.

"I see. So that's the case. Well, if you think about it, this is actually a blessing in disguise."

Just how did you manage to reach that conclusion?

"Suzumiya-san is, after all, the kind of person who does not like to be confined by rules or common convention. What if, had she had a better understanding of the reproductive cycle, decided that it would simply be too troublesome that way?

"In a worst case scenario, you would have been the one to show signs of being pregnant. Even if it would normally be impossible with your biology, it is still within her capabilities to place you in such a state. Of course, this is only one of the other possibilities that could have taken place instead of this one, but if that had been the case you would have faced a much harder situation than you are now."

I stared at Koizumi, waiting for him to say, "Just kidding!"

He didn't.

"Even if it's Haruhi, she wouldn't be that unreasonable, would she?"

Though she could be a little crazy at times, there had to be limits to even her wild imaginations.

Koizumi looked away, seeming to think carefully before answering me.

"Tell me, Kyon-kun, have you ever heard of Hippocampus?"

"It sounds familiar, but I don't exactly recall where I've heard it before. Is there any reason you're bothering to mention it?"

"It's the scientific name for the genus of Seahorses. As for why I brought it up, I'm sure you can figure out for yourself."

...you're not telling me that Haruhi is responsible for that, are you?

"Well, with that aside, I believe enough time has passed. Asakura-san, is there anybody still outside?"

Having been silent during my explanation, I had almost forgotten that she was there.

Almost.

"It is safe. There are no life signs detected on the other side of this barrier."

"Then, shall we go, Kyon?"

"Go where, exactly? I can't exactly return to class with her, after all."

"My associates have probably already prepared an alibi for you. As you have a tendency for getting into trouble, we have been prepared for multiple scenarios explaining a sudden absence from school. I believe that one of my associates will be waiting for you outside."

"Is that so?"

I tried my best to look surprised, though, to be honest, I had come to expect a certain level of preparedness from Koizumi and his group.

Still, I was thankful, if not a little curious. However...

"I'll get there myself. There's something I need to pick up along the way."

"I see...well make it quick. You won't have much time until the next break."

"I know."

---

To be honest, making it quick wasn't really an option. As helpful as Ryoko seemed, I couldn't just hand my baby to her. Walking through the halls, I was surprised to find they were empty. I chose not to dwell on that for long, and eventually I reached that familiar door - the entrance to the home of the SOS Brigade.

Nagato was waiting for me in the club room, sitting in her chair as usual. that by itself would have been enough of a surprise, but...

"So, it seems you found it."

A slight not of the head acknowledged the obvious, before she lifted the briefcase up to me without a word.

Shifting the baby to one arm, I accepted the handle of the bag. Then, after a quick exchange of "Thank you" and "You're welcome" I asked the first question that had entered my mind.

"Why are you here?"

She looked up at me, and without even a moment of thought, said, "Bathroom."

I could only assume that that was the excuse she had used to come here.

"There is also the problem of the human interface designated as Asakura Ryoko."

Wait, so she's dangerous after all?

"Her combat capabilities have been disabled. She has also been modified to be able to take better care of a child. As of this moment, there is no physical danger present to you or your child.

"However..."

I held my breath as Nagato paused. For this person to be worried about anything, it was no doubt a serious issue.

"...there is something else."

Unfortunately, I would not learn what it was that day.

"I see..."

I didn't, of course. Never before had I ever heard Nagato be so vague. Then again, she probably had her reasons.

Still...I wondered if there was anything I could do to protect myself from whatever "something else" was.

"Do not worry, I have prepared a safe guard. Please hold out your arm."

I did as she said, holding out the arm with the briefcase. Silently, she pulled out a bracelet and wrapped it around my wrist. With a soft click, she snapped it securely into place on me, and then retracted her hands.

It was silent for a moment. Then, she looked up at me once more and, with an unnaturally serious tone, said, "Do not lose it."

It was not a suggestion; it was a command. Yet, I couldn't help but feel that it did make me safer.

Had I bothered to read the engraving at the time, though, I would have realized just what kind of trouble I was in for.

---

Now that I was sure I had everything I needed, baby, briefcase, and bracelet, I decided I had held off my exit long enough.

Still surprised at how empty the halls were, I quickly made my way to the front gate, lest I get caught up in a flood of people - all of whom would no doubt inquire about things I didn't want nor know how to answer.

Like Koizumui said, a car was already waiting for me outside. However, it was a sight that only brought temporary relief to me. When I got closer, I recognized the driver, and suppressed a shiver.

"Hello, Mori-san."

The part time maid, part time actor, and full time member to the same Organization as that Koizumi flashed a smile at me. Though it would no doubt be a welcoming sight for most people, to me who had seen the other side of her it did little to settle my nerves.

Because she was on my side I knew that I shouldn't have been afraid of her, but that didn't change the fact that I was.

"Hello, Kyon-kun. Get in, we're already running late."

"Late? Late for what?"

"Just hurry up."

I got in obediently, though I still wondered what we were supposedly late for. I didn't get to dwell on it at all, however, because no sooner did I settle into my seat did Mori-san hit the pedal.

It was then, when I let go of the briefcase to fumble for my seat belt, that I noticed the person next to me.

"Kyon-kun, you're here too? And what's with the baby?"

Sometimes, I couldn't help but feel my life made its own cliff hangars.


	3. Breast Feeding

"Father's Day" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

---

It seemed like a long time before I dared to turn my head. Perhaps not as long as a year, but definitely a few months at least.

...

...on second thought, maybe it had been more than a year.

However, regardless of how long it felt for me, in reality only a minute (give or take a few seconds) had passed. Yet, in that minute, an uncomfortable silence had fallen between the two of us, but I had nobody to blame but myself for that.

And maybe Koizumi.

Just what was he thinking, having her here? And Mori-san, don't think I don't see you smiling!

"Kyon-kun, are you okay? Don't zone out on me!"

The girl in front of me waved her hand before my face, assuring me once again that she was not a figment of my imagination. Part of me was tempted to reach out and touch her to be sure, but I doubted that would end well. If I was wrong, there'd be nothing to touch anyway, and if I was right I wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

Not that I was thinking of things in -that- way.

Even so, it would probably be a good idea to give her a reply, before she decided to use a more aggressive method of getting my attention.

I've already felt first hand how strong Tsuruya-san could be, after all.

"Yes, I'm okay. I'm just surprised to see you here as well."

"As well?" she asked, blinking. "So you know what's going on then?"

"Ah...no. Not really. Do you?"

She shook her head.

"No, not really. Though..."

Tsuruya-san pointed her hand at my arms - or rather, who was in them.

"You still haven't told me why you have a baby with you, nyo~ro."

Ah, had she asked that?

Now that I think about it, I vaguely remember that question.

"Oh, her? She's..."

Unfortunately, I still didn't have an explanation. At least not one I could give.

Well, I had always wanted to say that line, anyway.

"That's classified information," I said, adding a nod for emphasis.

"Hmm..."

Tsuruya-san peered at me, as if trying to pry the truth out of me with her gaze. Though she herself had claimed to be a normal human, she had a sense for the supernatural that Haruhi only wished she had. It was impossible to tell how much of the truth she really knew.

Then again, in this kind of situation anybody could tell that there was something off.

Thankfully, Tsuruya-san was not nearly as nosy as Haruhi was, and eventually backed off. Breathing a sigh of relief, I relaxed, glad that she decided to lay off the questions.

Except for one.

"Could you at least tell me her name then, or is that classified information as well?"

Well, it wouldn't hurt to tell her that much. It wasn't like she could keep referring to her as "the baby" after all.

"Her name is Kyoli," I said, feeling a hint of a smile on my face.

"So your name is Kyoli, huh?"

Tsuruya-san's smiled, taking her off my hands. "Well, I guess I'll call you Kyoli-hime then."

---

At the time, I was too busy questioning Tsuruya-san's choice of nicknames to notice two important things until we got out of the car.

The first was the name. As ridiculous as it was, I had no idea where it came from - only the knowledge that it was somehow hers.

And the second was a laugh - the first sound my otherwise silent daughter had made. Up until that moment, she had been like a doll, and it was hard to believe that she had really been alive. However, when Tsuruya-san held her, something had happened.

I heard it, that single laugh. Yet, I barely paid attention at all.

If I had, I would have been forced to admit then how serious this situation really was.

No...

To begin with, I hadn't really focused on the girl in my arms. The only thing I noticed at all was that, when I passed her over to Tsuruya, it was that she was light – the weight of a baby wasn't much at all.

Perhaps it was because I was used to picking up my little sister; I've even carried her a few times. But when I let her go, it felt like I was handing over nothing at all.

It was as if she hadn't really been there.

---

We arrived at a very familiar place – especially for myself. That was only natural. One's own home was usually a place that a person spent a lot of time in. We've even had a few events happen at my house, involving the SOS Brigade.

I just wished that this wouldn't be one of them.

I knew where we heading before the building even came into sight. However, as we approached, I had secretly hoped – prayed – that we were only going to pass it.

After all, what kind of business would we have there? The point was to avoid any unnecessary attention from people – which I assumed included my family. To begin with, if my parents saw me with a child, there would no doubt be some misunderstandings.

But I relaxed. After all, Tsuruya-san was here as well. There was no reason for her to be at my house as well.

Then again, I didn't see a reason for her to be pulled out of school in the first place. Perhaps I had hoped it was for an unrelated reason, that simply happened to occur at the same time as my problem.

…of course, that was completely delusional. Still, ignorance is a short, but sweet bliss – even if one fakes it.

The door opened on my side. Holding it was none other than the Arakawa the butler, who bowed and motioned towards the mansion's entrance. There was no command, no suggestion in his voice to leave the vehicle – but it seemed that he didn't even consider that I might want to just sit here and stay in the car.

Perhaps, it was because I couldn't. I had gone this far already, there was no point in resisting the flow.

Even so, I waited just for a little bit.

"Ne, Kyon-kun. What's taking you so long?" Tsuruya-san asked, already outside of the car. "You're just so slow today."

I sighed, delaying for as long as possible.

"Sorry," I said, climbing out of my seat. "I just have a feeling that something is going to happen."

"Something already happened," Mori-san explained cheerfully. "That's why we brought you here."

"I mean, something else."

"Well," she replied, a mischievous smile on her face. "If we don't do anything, things are sure to become worse. At least this way, we can control the amount of damage."

Damage control. Somehow, having her put it that way didn't make me feel better. No, it definitely made me feel worse.

"So, you're saying there will be damage?"

"Yes, but we will be able to control it. Probably."

---

It was still the middle of the day. Fortunately, both of my parents were still at work. As for my sister, she was still at school – as I should have been.

There were just certain problems that I had never expected to deal with before. For example, the stork.

On the bright side, I had always wondered what it would be like to have my own personal maid. Though Arakawa had already driven off in the car that had taken us here, Mori-san had remained in the house and even prepared tea.

However, every light casts a shadow, and this one was particularly dark. The fact was that I still had no idea what we were doing here or why there was even a "we" to begin with; all she had told us to do is wait in the living room.

And so I did. Sitting in a chair, sipping the cup of tea she had prepared, all I could do was watch Tsuruya-san play with Kyoli on the couch. It was a little surprising just how easily she could adapt to a situation like this, but...

...but that was more a blessing than anything else. Frankly, I had trouble answering her questions from before. Perhaps she was more interesting in the girl now, or perhaps she knew I didn't have any answers to give, but whatever the case was I was thankful.

"So...why do you think you brought us here?"

Yet, in the end, I was the one to ask the question instead.

Tsuruya-san looked up at me, and shrugged. "Shouldn't you know, Kyon-kun? After all, this is your home."

Of course I should know. The fact that I didn't irked me to no end.

"I have a vague idea," I admitted, finally setting down my tea. "At least, I have an idea about why I'm here."

"It has to do with Kyoli-hime, right?"

I...

...nodded. It wouldn't have taken a genius to figure out that the mysterious newcomer would be at the center of the events, but Tsuruya-san was one anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if she did know more than after all.

"Ah, I'm telling you I don't really have any idea what's going on," she repeated. "I just got pulled out of class, and they told me to get in the car."

"And you just did that?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Of course. Didn't you?"

Another slow, regretful nod.

"But that's different," I quickly explained. "Something unexpected came up."

Tsuruya-san frowned, glancing at me. "Don't put it like that. You'll make it sound like Kyoli was a mistake."

I paused. When she put it that way, it sounded like I was the bad guy. But the fact was that Kyoli was something that I hadn't expected at all; no reasonable person would have imagined a baby being flown in by a stork.

Emphasis on reasonable.

...and probably person. Haruhi was truly a frightening existence, for something this illogical to happen.

"Well then, how should I describe her? She just appeared out of the sky."

"Isn't it obvious?" Tsuruya-san said, smiling – and utterly accepting what I had just said. "Kyoli-hime's a miracle from heaven."

"That's right," a familiar voice agreed. "She's a miracle."

---

A chill went down my spine.

No matter how many times I heard that voice, it always put me on guard. The person who had disappeared, reappeared, and disappeared again had finally turned up once more.

The person who had tried to kill me. The person who had been killed instead, only to be revived once again. Asakura Ryoko, who I had left back on the school rooftop, had followed me all the way to my home.

That person was now exchanging friendly introductions with Tsuruya-san like she was just an ordinary person. One acquaintance met the other, greeting the other with smiles, and giving their name.

Neither seemed to notice the fact that I had become frozen in place. That is, until I snapped out of my shock.

"W-what are you doing here?!"

Asakura finally turned away from Tsuruya-san, and faced me. Tilting her head, gave me a curious look.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten already? I'm going to take care of your child from now on?"

"Ah," Tsuruya-san said, eyes widening. "So, you're going to be Kyoli-hime's babysitter?"

Asakura nodded, turning to Tsuruya-san once more. "Yes, that's the case. So, Kyoli's her name."

"Kyoli-hime," Tsuruya-san said, emphasizing the suffix. "You can't forget about the second part."

"Ah, of course. How could I?"

As for myself, I didn't know what to say to this scene. On the bright side, it couldn't become more absurd.

---

Of course it did.

It always did.

Admittedly, it was partially my fault for not paying attention. But...

"Just wait a minute!"

I really didn't think that Ryoko would have begun taking off her top all of a sudden. By now, though, I believe I figured out what the modifications she mentioned earlier were.

Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I tried to make sense of what happened. There was probably a simple, straightforward explanation for her action...

But, even if I solved it myself, I just had to confirm.

"Tell me," I said, looking straight at her. "You're not planning on breast feeding her, are you?"

Ryoko blinked.

"Is that wrong?" she asked, placing a finger on her chin. In doing so, her arm pressed against her chest, emphasizing their...emphasis. Though she had only unbuttoned the top two, I could guess that she rivaled Asahina-senpai – but I had no intention of taking a closer look to find out for sure.

None at all. Believe me.

"Of course it is! I'm still here, aren't I?"

Ryoko clapped her hands together, as if suddenly understanding the situation.

"I get it!"

She probably didn't.

"I should feed you first, shouldn't I?"

...she really didn't.

In the background, Tsuruya-san, who had been initially shocked like me, began to laugh.

It was probably funny...if you weren't me.

---

"It doesn't matter if you try, Asakura-san," Mori-san said, returning from wherever she had disappeared off to.

"Oh, is that so?" the alien in question asked, still not buttoning up her shirt. She didn't even bother to ask why the maid knew her name, though if I had to guess Koizumi had already told Mori-san about Ryoko. "And why would that be?"

"Even if you call yourself her baby sitter, you would have to get permission from one of her parents first to watch her."

"Is that correct?" Asakura asked, with a sigh. "But, I'm sure that Kyon-kun doesn't mind, right?"

"Actually, I do mind," I said. "I mind a lot. Don't do it."

I never imagined I'd have to order a girl to keep her shirt on. But I had a feeling that no good would come out of letting her simply do as she pleased.

Ryoko pouted, but she didn't seem to bothered by that fact. Instead, she turned to another person in the room: Tsuruya-san, who was still laughing.

I could already guess what would happen. It was a common tactic, after all; if you couldn't get permission from the father, then...

"How about you, Tsuruya-san? You don't mind if I feed Kyoli-hime, right?"

...you simply asked the mother, right?

"Eh?"

Tsuruya-san stopped laughing.

"Why are you asking me?"

It's almost funny, just how predictable my unpredictable life had become.


End file.
